Making a memory foam pillow softer generally involves a few simple steps: You can break in the pillow by using it continuously, place it in a warm room to make the foam more pliable, or knead and massage the pillow to soften the foam. These methods can help to make the pillow more comfortable if it feels too firm at first.
Understanding Memory Foam Pillows
Before attempting to soften your memory foam pillow, it’s essential to understand what memory foam is and why it might feel too firm. Memory foam, also known as viscoelastic foam, is designed to contour to the shape of your body, offering support and comfort. This material reacts to body heat and pressure, which is why it can feel firm when it’s cold or when you first lay your head on it.
Breaking in a New Memory Foam Pillow
Continuous Use
When you first purchase a memory foam pillow, you might find that it’s firmer than you expected. This is a common experience as the foam is new and hasn’t had a chance to soften up through use. The easiest way to break in the pillow is simply to use it night after night. Your body heat and the weight of your head will gradually make the foam softer and more yielding.
Applying Gentle Pressure
In addition to regular use, you can speed up the softening process by gently kneading and pressing on the pillow. This method simulates the effect of regular usage but in a shorter period. Take care to do this gently, as aggressive handling could potentially damage the foam’s structure.
Our Top 5 Pillow Picks
Updated September 2026MFWW Cervical Contour Memory Foam Pillow
Best for neck pain. A dual-height ergonomic contour cradles your head and supports the neck, for back and side sleepers.
- Contour memory foam
- Dual-height design
- Cool breathable cover
Cooling Shredded Memory Foam Pillows, Standard, 2-Pack
Best value pair. Shredded foam you can adjust to your loft, with a cool-gel feel and no solid-block heat. Two pillows in one box.
- Adjustable shredded foam
- Cool gel
- Hypoallergenic
- Standard 2-pack
Cooling Shredded Memory Foam Pillows, Queen, Set of 4
Best for the whole household. The same adjustable cooling foam in queen size, four to a set, so every bed in the house gets an upgrade.
- Adjustable shredded foam
- Cool gel
- Hypoallergenic
- Queen set of 4
Utopia Bedding Hotel Pillows, Queen, Set of 4
Best hotel-style set. Plush, cooling pillows made to suit side, back and stomach sleepers alike. A safe pick for guest rooms.
- Queen set of 4
- Cooling
- All sleep positions
- Hotel style
Zalmureta Goose Feather & Down Pillows, Queen, Set of 2
Best luxury pick. A three-chamber goose feather and down fill wrapped in a 100% cotton shell, for that five-star-hotel feel at home.
- Goose feather & down
- 3-chamber design
- 100% cotton shell
- Queen 2-pack
Adjusting the Temperature
Warming Up the Pillow
Memory foam becomes more malleable with warmth, as heat makes the foam softer and more adaptable. You can take advantage of this property by placing the pillow in a warm room for a few hours before bedtime or by using a hairdryer on a low setting to warm up the surface. Make sure not to overheat the pillow or bring the hairdryer too close, as excessive heat can damage the material.
Avoiding Cold Environments
Conversely, memory foam becomes firmer in cooler temperatures. If your bedroom is particularly cold, it might make the pillow feel too hard. Adjust your thermostat to a warmer setting if possible, or move the pillow to a warmer area before going to bed to allow it to soften up.
Using a Soft Pillowcase
The pillowcase you use can also affect how soft your memory foam pillow feels. Opt for a soft, breathable fabric such as cotton or bamboo which can enhance the overall comfort of your pillow. Avoid using rough materials like polyester, which can add to the firmness and reduce the breathability, potentially making your pillow feel harder.
Adjusting Pillow Thickness and Density
Removing Foam Layers
Some memory foam pillows come with removable layers. If yours is one of these, you can adjust the loft by removing one of the layers. A thinner pillow will often feel softer as you’ll sink deeper into it, reducing the pressure on your head and neck.
Choosing the Right Density
When shopping for a memory foam pillow, consider the density of the foam. High-density foams are firmer and more supportive, while low-density foams are softer and more plush. If you’ve followed the previous steps to soften your pillow and still find it too firm, it may be worth considering a memory foam pillow with a lower density for a softer feel.
Maintenance and Care
To keep your memory foam pillow soft and comfortable, it’s essential to take proper care of it:
Cleaning Your Pillow
Memory foam should not be machine washed or soaked in water, as this can break down the material. Instead, spot clean with a damp cloth if necessary, and air dry thoroughly. You can also use a mild detergent on stains but make sure to rinse and dry it properly.
Fluffing the Pillow Regularly
Regularly fluffing your pillow can help maintain its shape and keep it comfortable. This can be done by gently shaking or punching the pillow — just enough to redistribute the foam and maintain its softness.
Avoiding Heavy Objects
Keep heavy objects off your pillow during the day to prevent the foam from becoming compressed in areas. Flattened spots can affect the overall softness and comfort of the pillow.
Finishing Thoughts
In summary, memory foam pillows can be a bit too firm when new, but with careful usage and maintenance, you can soften them to better suit your comfort preferences. Consistent use, applying warmth, choosing the right pillowcase, and proper care will help ensure your memory foam pillow becomes softer and remains supportive for a good night’s sleep. Remember that personal preference plays a significant role, so giving your pillow a bit of time to conform to your head and neck is often all it takes to achieve the desired softness.
